Overcoming driving nerves
Unlike road rage, which gets lots of media attention, road fear, apart from occasional disparaging remarks about 'Sunday drivers' is largely unacknowledged. Admit to being petrified of spiders, lifts or clowns and you'll soon find people who share or at least empathise with your turmoil. But own up to gripping the wheel in terror when bombing down a motorway slip road or slowing to a crawl when dazzled by oncoming headlights and the response is more likely to be sneering incomprehension. But the fact is that there are a lot of women who, despite having full, clean driving licences and years of experience are very wary of certain aspects of driving and limit themselves accordingly.
If that's you, then you're not alone – even though you might feel
it. A survey of 4,000 women drivers carried out by Diamond Car
Insurance revealed that 44% feel nervous on unfamiliar
roads, 20% on motorways and 7% admit to feeling nervous every time
they get behind the wheel!
Olivia, 30, passed her driving test in London at 18 and is confident in busy city traffic. But after moving to the countryside to start a family, she found rural driving more challenging. 'I'd never driven above 50mph,' she admits. 'I've improved but still have problems. I'm not comfortable driving at night, I don't do motorways and if I take the train to London the shortest route to the station involves a horrible junction where you have to cross the dual carriageway so I end up driving about eight miles out of my way to avoid it.'
Caroline, 48, is another woman who 'doesn't do motorways'. 'I grew up in Cornwall and am fine with country driving. When I first moved to London I couldn't afford a car, but now, although I'd like to have one I do feel scared at the prospect of driving here. London drivers are so rude and impatient – they'll toot their horn at you if you don't pull away after a nanosecond and I think I'd find it too stressful. Caroline recently inherited a house in Cornwall and is planning to buy a car to keep down there, 'But no way would I bring it back to London along the motorway. I'm planning to commute by train instead.'
Other examples include Nicky, 52, who hates overtaking, 'I would rather pull off the road and wait five minutes than overtake a long lorry.' whilst Tamara, 33 let her driving fears dictate her holiday destination, 'I live in London and chose to rent a cottage in Suffolk simply because it was possible to get there on the A12, without using the motorway'.
Driving Instructor Colin Baker specialises in teaching anxious drivers and isn't surprised by any of these stories. 'Driving phobia is far more widespread than is commonly acknowledged. And people often alter their lives to accommodate it rather than tackle it head-on. The most common fears are motorways and night driving but I've also worked with drivers who've been afraid of tunnels, bridges or going down hills.'
Being nervous can create a vicious circle. The driver becomes flustered, which means they're more likely to make mistakes. That knocks their confidence further and they become even more keen to avoid getting behind the wheel. Catherine O'Neill, a therapist at the charity Anxiety UK has experienced driving phobia herself in the past, and knows how limiting it can be. But she feels it's important to tackle your fears. 'Here at Anxiety UK we say that anxiety is a bully. The more you give into it, the more it takes from you. We advise an approach of 'graded exposure' – the client tries something just outside their comfort zone, and then once they're ok with that they go up to the next level. So if, for example, you're afraid of motorway driving you might try travelling along one motorway junction section, then two and so on. If you feel that you'd need support before doing that then book some sessions with a driving instructor experienced in working with anxious drivers.'
Catherine agrees that facing your fears can be hard. 'But it gets easier the more you do it. And every time you push yourself out of your comfort zone, give yourself a reward. It re-inforces the fact that you've done something special, even though it might not be something that seems special to other people.'
Keeping your motivation strong is also important in making any sort of change. So focus on something you'd really like to do that requires more driving confidence – whether that's being able to visit family members more easily or pursue a particular hobby – and remind yourself that it's worth putting in the effort for.
Relaxation techniques and affirmations can help tackle driving fears. Focus on focusing on relaxing your arms and shoulders. If you do that, it'll extend to the rest of your body. And because you're relaxing the body, that passes on to the brain. Deep breathing is also important – when you're stressed concentrate on making the out-breath last longer than the in-breath.
Other techniques that people have found useful include singing and playing soothing classical music in the car.
Affirmations can reinforce positive thoughts and actions. Find a statement that helps reassure you such as – 'driving is safe', 'other people drive on motorways and I can too', 'my driving is fine' and 'my anxiety isn't going to hurt me' and repeat it to yourself as you drive along.
Another important step is to make sure that your car is well-maintained and that you're prepared for your journey – if you're confident in your vehicle, that'll have a knock on effect to your driving confidence. So make sure that your tyres are at the correct pressure and the right tread, and check your oil, coolant and fuel levels regularly. Keeping your windscreen and headlights clean is always important, but especially so if you're planning any night driving – smeary glass makes the dazzle from oncoming lights so much worse.
If you're going on an unfamiliar journey then keep your stress levels down by planning it carefully beforehand so you won't be worried about what route to take – and you might want to consider investing in a sat-nav too.
Motorway driving
The M word can strike fear into the heart of drivers who aren't used to them. Which isn't surprising, given that the particular skills for joining and overtaking on motorways aren't taught as part of the driving test. And as women can often get into the habit of letting their partner do all the motorway driving, the lack of practice makes matters worse.
'Before going on the motorway, you've got to be comfortable with speed,' says Colin Baker. 'So the first step is to practice on dual carriageways until you're used to doing at least 60mph.'
Once you've cleared that hurdle, don't freak yourself out by hitting the M25 at rush hour. 'Try out a few practice sessions at quieter times, such as Sunday morning,' advises Kathy Higgins. 'Just do a couple of junctions and come off again.'
Joining can feel like the trickiest part of motorway driving. 'As they're going down the sliproad people often slow down because they're scared and as they reduce their speed it feels as if the traffic on the motorway is going faster,' explains Colin. 'Then the driver panics and thinks, 'they're going too fast, they won't let me on.' But relax and realise that you don't have to get on straight away. Use the sliproad and pull out when it's safe.'
'As you're going down the sliproad it's important to watch the traffic and plan where you're going to slot in,' advises Colin. 'Other motorists will often pull over or hold back to give you a space but anxious drivers worry that it's not big enough. That's where taking extra training with a professional instructor can come in useful – they can reassure you and urge you to claim the space. Once you've done it a few times you'll feel more confident and come to trust your own judgment.'
Once on the motorway, many drivers dislike overtaking but there's no need to be constantly weaving in and out of the traffic if you're not comfortable with that.There's nothing wrong with just doing a steady speed sitting behind a lorry. Lots of experienced motorists do it if they're tired and just not in the mood for frequent overtaking.
Other essential tips for safe motorway driving include looking further ahead than you might usually do, staying aware of traffic feeding on from slip roads and taking regular breaks – twenty minutes every two hours is recommended.
Night driving
Driving at night can be quite a challenge. As well as coping with poor visibility, there's the fact that other drivers are often tired or drunk so you need to be extra alert in case they behave erratically. Go slower and allow more time for your journey.
Being dazzled by the headlights of oncoming cars is one of the trickiest most unnerving aspects of night driving. To make matters worse, many of us feel drawn towards them in a 'moth to a flame' sort of way and worry that we'll drive into the path of oncoming cars. 'Don't look at the headlights,' urges Colin Baker. 'Keep your attention on the left hand kerb. And try to keep your speed steady. Avoid driving along at 50 and then dropping to 40 when there's oncoming traffic and then speeding up again. It makes it very confusing for drivers travelling behind you. It's better to aim for a speed you can maintain, such as 45 and sticking to it even if there are times you could go faster.'
Parking
This one is more about risking embarrassment than actual danger, so it's relatively easy to tackle. Parking practice makes perfect, so make a point of trying out different parking challenges when you're not rushed for time and not hassled by a stream of traffic behind you. For example, do a bay park in a deserted bit of the supermarket car park, even if you could just drive directly in. Or experiment with a hill park when no-one else is around. You'll soon be the proud possessor of impressive parking skills.
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Driving Test Secrets You Need to Know - 99p on Amazon
